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Tribunal Hands Down Surprise Ruling in
Eden Case Adam, Eve, and Serpent All Exonerated!
Despite
centuries of efforts by his deputies to cover up the story, God was really the
bad guy in the Garden of Eden case, according to informed sources close to a
special tribunal whose findings will be officially released before the end of
the year. The tribunal was convened last year to resolve the question of
whether the descendents of Adam and Eve should still be held accountable for
their so-called "original sin." Till now, the existence of the tribunal has
been kept secret because of concerns that members would be subject to undue
pressure and/or threats of eternal damnation if their identities were to become
public.
"The tribunal has carefully considered all sides of the age-old case, taking
into account not only the actions of Adam and Eve but also the role of the
serpent and of God Himself," said the source. "In the end, the facts just spoke
for themselves," the source said.
It is not yet known whether God will face charges for his role in the affair,
or if he can even be located. Rumors of his death have surfaced repeatedly over
the past couple of centuries, and the tribunal has been unable to locate anyone
alive who has actually seen him.
The Full Story:
"Thank God!" Gives Way to "Thank the
Serpent!"
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